I grew up with teachers that hated children. Hate is a strong word, I know, but that is what it felt like. I felt hated. Sounds harsh, eh? It was harsh. You might be thinking this is hyperbole; why, after all, would anyone who hated children take on a profession whose every breathing hour involved interacting with small and innocent humans? Its a good question, and one that I have given more thought than necessary since I will never know the answer, The answer is complex, no doubt.
For some, I imagine, teaching was the only option available. I grew up in a rural village in the 1970s and some of the women who taught me were in their 30s and 40s which means that they grew up during a time when women didn't have many career choices available to them. You were either a farmer's wife or a teacher. Of course, the city offered a few other options, but this was farm country. The bottom line is that my teachers were just plain unhappy and it showed. Needless to say, my education suffered. But it isn't my poor education that really hindered me as I grew up and tried to make it in the world. Although I grew up missing more than half of the knowledge "dots" in my dot-to-dot picture of the world and was therefore unable to connect the lines of meaning between them until much later in life, the real setbacks stemmed from the lack of confidence and limiting beliefs that climbed on board the homeward bus with me every afternoon. Fortunately, I got out of dodge just in time for high school. There I began the slow and steady climb out of the pit. In high school, a few star teachers helped me get my footing, but it was a long time before I was able to rekindle my inner flame. I share my early beginnings with education because it is very important to understand how damaging it is to the human spirit to be "hated." As children we do not have the mental resources to cope with adults that psychologically mistreat us. Instead we build belief systems around the mistreatment such as "I am at fault," "I am worthless," "I have nothing to contribute," "I am stupid," and so on. You get the picture. Nowadays society is much more attentive to the rights and needs of children. I am grateful for that, but when I look around at society - at the number of young people using drugs, and the declining numbers of college entrants, at the road rage and the lack of respect for the environment, to name but a few of the signs of societal degradation - I feel called to serve humanity in the name of hope for a better future. My own experience has taught me that contributing to the confidence of others, supporting the intrinsic wonder born in all people, and aiding creative expression makes a positive difference both on an individual level and on a global scale. Truth and beauty and wisdom resides in the heart of every one of us; I have seen this. I am motivated to teach, therefore, in order to guide each child to their inner knowing, to celebrate their unique gifts and encourage their creative expression of these gifts. I want my classroom to be a sanctuary for the human spirit and in this way provide the right conditions for growth.
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AuthorNatalie Nickerson; that's me. Archives
March 2016
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